Donnie's Wonderful Life
by Donnie'sTwilight
Summary: On Christmas Eve, Donnie begins to think that it would be better for everyone if he had never been born after screwing something up. While he's sleeping, he's visited by a wizard who shows him the outcome of what would happen if he had never been born. He soon realizes how much he matters to people, especially during the holidays.


_**Donnie's Wonderful Life**_

**Title: **_Donnie's Wonderful Life_

**Author: **_Donnie'sTwilight_

**Summary: **_Donnie makes a present for April, which goes haywire and causes a lot of trouble. This causes an argument to break out, one which Splinter breaks out and tells them to all to go to bed since they'd be going to April's in the morning for Christmas. While Donnie is trying to go to sleep, he starts to think that if he had never been born, everyone's lives would be so much better. But when he's asleep, a sparrow wizard, Sir Malachi, comes by and shows him what would happen to so many people if he had never been born. It quickly makes Donnie realize how much he means to people and how important he is._

**Pairings: **_none_

**Rating: **_K+_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own the turtles. I really wish I did, but I don't. If I did, I wouldn't be writing these stories._

**A/N: **_Okay, I got this idea from JTH, and I loved this idea so much. Thank you for suggesting the idea. It's truly a good story. And I promise I'll update my other stories soon. I just have a science project to work on that's due on the 27__th__, so I won't update much before then, but I wanted to write this. And this is my first one-shot. It will be long, though._

**POV: **_Donnie's_

* * *

I looked around my lab, just wanting to make sure everything was there. I was on edge near the holidays for whatever reason, and I just want to make sure that everything is in order. Okay, all of my presents are done, except for April's. I needed to finish making it. Oh, how I hope she likes it.

It was Christmas Eve, and it was four hours before midnight. Also, two hours before we were all sent to bed because it was snowing too hard tonight to patrol, so we had to turn in early. I really wasn't liking the idea all that much because I wanted to stay up and make sure that absolutely everything is perfect for April. I've spent weeks working on it, and I wanted to make sure she was happy on Christmas.

This would be the first Christmas my family was spending with April. We were all looking forward to it because it gave Mikey and Splinter the opportunity to cook, and we would all be staying warmer than ever on Christmas, which was a really good thing for us because my brothers and I are cold-blooded. Which is exactly why we're not allowed to patrol tonight. We'd surely freeze to death.

I added the finishing touches on April's present and stood up. I grabbed the remote control and turned my latest invention on. I smiled widely when it appeared to work. So good so far. I decided to test it to its fullest potential. "What is five times six?" I asked it.

The machine voice responded, "30."

"Cool," I chuckled. "x plus 7 equals 50. Solve for x."

"43," the machine answered.

"Okay, translate "Como se llama?" properly," I challenged.

"What's your name?" the machine told me. I nodded, glad it was working.

I continued quizzing it for a while, seeing what it knew. Okay, so the machine is supposed to be able to know everything that I know, which is a ton. It's supposed to be able to help April when she needs help with homework and I couldn't talk to her. And I wanted to make sure it was good. And it was. Up until I asked it who April is.

I mean, the machine should know this! I know who April is! And April would soon be in possession of it! How would it not know who April is?!

"Accessing secure data bases," the machine said.

"What?" I asked it.

Then it started listing off all the April's in the world. How it got this information or how it accessed hospital data and police data, I don't know. But it's not supposed to do that. When I reached for the controller, worried now, it ran across the room and knocked it from my reach. Okay, putting in everything I know is not such a good idea.

I dove for the controller, pressing the off button. But nothing happened. I slammed my finger on it fifteen times—yes I was counting—and nothing happened. "No! The button is jammed!" I cried. I looked up just in time to avoid getting a fist full of metal. "You're supposed to help people! Not attack people!"

I grabbed my Bo-staff from where it leaned against the door and prepared myself to attack. I mean, I'm good at defeating robots. I destroyed Metalhead, my creation, and I had designed him to be indestructible. And I destroy Kraang-droids all the time. I should be able to get rid of this robot.

I blocked several attacks, while pressed up against the wall of my lab. But when I held up my Bo-staff for protection, it shattered it into splinters. I gulped

My brothers must've heard something crash to the floor because they came running in. "Guys, look out!" I yelled at them and they all ducked just in time to narrowly avoid getting their heads cut off.

"What did you do?" Raph demanded.

"I was trying to make April's present, which was this stupid robot, and it went haywire when I asked it a question it didn't know the answer to for whatever reason," I said, wincing when the robot punched my wrist when I had tried to block my face.

Leo ran up behind it and jabbed his katana through the robot. The robot shut down and fell to the floor when Leo slipped the katana out cleanly.

"Donnie, you shouldn't have done this," Mikey muttered.

"Yeah, Donnie. What really inspired you to do something so stupid? Remember the last robot you built?" Leo asked me.

"I wanted to help April," I breathed, sinking to the floor, knowing my wrist was swelling already.

"By giving her a psychopathic robot?" Raph snapped. "Yeah, good way to impress her, genius."

"Dude, even I wouldn't have given her a robot you built," Mikey said to me. I glared up at my brothers before getting to my feet and ran from the lab.

"Where do you think you're going? I'm not done talking to you!" Leo yelled at me, most likely following me.

I whirled around in the lair, looking at my brothers. "Do you guys all carry your T-phones on you?" I demanded and they froze, looking at me warily. They were probably trying to figure out what I was trying to do. But they all eventually nodded. "T-phones, self destruct!"

All of their T-phones shorted out, except for mine which was in my lab. Smoke puffed out from their belts and they glared at me. "What's your problem, Donnie?" they all shouted at me. I turned my back to them, which was a big mistake, as I walked away.

"All you ever do is screw things up, Donnie. Does our safety mean nothing to you?" Leo snapped. "You built Metalhead, the Kraang took it over and tried to kill all of us. Timothy, you cost us the power cell because the Kraang got a hold of it because you just had to protect him. And now's he's an ugly mutant because of it. And all you do is embarrass yourself when you try to impress April."

I felt tears fill my eyes at that. That really hurt to hear. Did I really screw up that much? Do I ever do good things for my family?

The next thing I knew, I felt someone slam something into the back of my knees and I cried out, falling to the ground. "I don't want to talk to you guys," I whimpered as I was thrown to the ground.

"Are you trying to get April killed, Don? Huh? Because all you ever think about now is impressing her and it prevents you from doing what's right," Raph snarled in my ear. I felt my eyes cloud up as I stared at the ground. "Answer me!"

"Enough!" Splinter stated. I let out my breath when Raph got off of me. I stumbled to my feet and headed for my room, not wanting to talk to anyone. I felt something shatter against my shell and I ignored it. "Raphael!" I smirked to myself as I ducked into my room, heading for my bed as I untied my mask.

When I pulled it back, I realized I had been crying. I shook my head, trying to clear the tears from my eyes and trying to clear my mind. It wasn't working. God, my brothers must hate me. No wonder I can't do anything right. Maybe it'd be better for all of us if I had never been born. Then my brothers wouldn't have to deal with all the times I mess everything up. It'd be so much better for all of us.

I tucked myself in, falling asleep quickly, but I knew I fell asleep crying. Why did I have to put my brothers and April in so much harm? Why do I even exist anymore?

During the night, I woke up with a wary shiver running down my back. I groped for my Bo-staff in the dark, hoping I had left it close to my bed. Suddenly, a bright light came on and I covered my eyes instinctively.

When I wasn't blind, I looked up. I was shocked by what I saw. It was…a sparrow. Not just a normal sparrow, but a mutant. The sparrow wore a light blue cape, brown gloves, and he was missing a leg. He had a crooked staff with a crystal ball on the top. He also had my Bo-staff with him.

"Who are you?" I asked warily. No sudden moves because I had absolutely nothing on me that I could use as a weapon. He had everything of mine that was in my room.

"I'm here to show you what would happen if you had never been born," the sparrow told me, ignoring my question.

"Why does it matter?" I snapped. "Everyone would be so much happier without me. Why do I need to see that?"

"That's not true. Your brothers and father would have died a long time ago if it wasn't for you, Donatello," the sparrow said, still not answering my first question.

"Splinter would've been able to keep them alive. He's responsible for keeping us alive," I sighed.

"Not all the time," the sparrow said. "Oh, and my name is Sir Malachi."

"What kind of name is that?" I asked.

"What kind of name is Donatello? But we both are not responsible for our names. Now come with me," Sir Malachi shot back.

"No way," I growled. "I don't even know you."

Suddenly, the setting of my room disappeared and I gasped as I looked around. I was still in the lair, but no longer in my room. The lair looked so different. None of my inventions were here. My lab was not there, and none of the things my brothers used on a regular basis were here. Raph's T-phone was no longer laying shattered on the floor like before I went to bed.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"Watch," Sir Malachi answered. "This was when you were all two. Fresh water was scarce, and you were running low on food. It was the dead of winter and Splinter couldn't go get you food."

"This was the day that I built the oven so we could boil water to drink," I breathed.

"Yes. If you hadn't, your brothers and father would've starved to death," Sir Malachi told me. I gulped.

Then I spotted Splinter sitting in the corner, and I walked over. "Sensei," I tried to say, but he didn't hear me.

"They can't hear you. I didn't take you back in time. I'm simply showing you the outcome of not existing," Sir Malachi called to me. I peered over Splinter's shoulder and saw my brothers. They were all so cute. Leo and Mikey had such big blue eyes, and Raph actually had big eyes, too. It had been so long since I had seen them like this.

"Daddy, I'm hungry," I heard Mikey say and I swear, my heart broke.

"I know, Michelangelo," Splinter sighed. "And I am so sorry for your hunger."

Tears rushed to my eyes and I turned away, clenching my eyes shut. "Please let me go home," I gasped, rubbing my eyes with my hands.

"Not yet. You still have not come to realize how much you matter to everyone," Sir Malachi said.

The setting shimmered again and I looked around. I was in Splinter's room, something I had helped him build. How it was here, I don't know. But, Splinter was laying on the cot and Michelangelo sat on the floor by it. I realized that he was in tears.

"Come here, Mikey," I said to him and walked over. Then I remembered that he couldn't hear me and I probably wouldn't be able to touch him, either. "What happened this time?"

"This is when you were four. Splinter got very sick and couldn't move much. First of all, if you hadn't existed, Splinter would have died because you were the only one besides him who knew how to cure him. Also, this was the day that Raphael ripped the head off of Michelangelo's teddy bear. Do you remember that?" Sir Malachi told me. I nodded. "Michelangelo would still be devastated to this day if you hadn't fixed it. You were more like the father at that point, although Leonardo was older. He was so stressed that he wouldn't have been able to do much and even if he wasn't, he wouldn't have been able to do anything. You were the only one around who knew what to do. You saved the family from falling apart at that time."

"Mikey would've moved on," I pointed out.

"And even if he had, Splinter would have died. It wouldn't have mattered. None of your brothers would've been able to move on after that. He meant too much," he replied.

"Splinter would've toughed through it," I gasped.

"No he wouldn't have. He was too sick to stay alive on his own," Sir Malachi said coldly. I shook my head, trying so hard not to cry.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I cried, despite the fact that I was trying so hard not to.

"You thought everyone's lives would be better if you had never existed. You never even stopped to think about how much good you've done for everyone," he told me.

The scene changed and I was back in the main lair. There was still nothing that I had invented in the lair. But the biggest difference I saw was that Mikey was curled up in the corner, and I knew he was crying.

"This was the day that you invented the TV for your family. You may not realize it, but it saved your brothers," Sir Malachi said. "This was when you were seven."

"What's happening now?" I asked.

"Raphael and Leonardo got into a big argument. First of all, you stopped this from becoming violent, and you saved the three of them. If Raphael and Leonardo had hurt each other, it would have torn Michelangelo up. He wouldn't have been able to deal with it. And if the argument had turned violent, both Raphael and Leonardo would have had permanent injuries," Sir Malachi sighed. "They were fighting over who was a better older brother for whatever reason, although both were being horrible older brothers to Michelangelo. Neither of them had even stopped to think about how much they were hurting their little brothers."

"I remember this fight. I know that if I hadn't stepped in, it wouldn't have ended very well," I breathed, dropping to my knees. "Can we move on now?"

"Not yet," Sir Malachi said.

Then I noticed how Raphael and Leonardo were arguing in the other part of the room. But, they weren't doing much talking. "This is happening right after the time you would've come in with the TV and set it up," Sir Malachi explained.

I watched Leo and Raph draw their weapons and I gulped. This was a few weeks after we had gotten our weapons. And I wasn't liking the idea so much.

The fight went on for about ten minutes until Leo drew blood. I cried out when Raph fell to the floor, one of Leo's katana straight through his hand. Then Raph got to his feet and slashed Leo across the face with his sai. I could see Mikey sobbing his eyes out in the corner, so afraid to move.

Splinter had never known about this argument, and we had never told him because we resolved it on our own. But when he heard Leo scream, he came rushing into the room and pulled the two away from each other. All three of my brothers were crying and Leo had his hands over his face. And I had seen where Raph had caught Leo. Leo was never going to be able to see again.

I fell on the floor, crying so hard I couldn't see anything. I couldn't even move anymore. I didn't want to. Why was he doing this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this?

When I heard all the crying except for my own disappear, I raised my head. "This is much more recent," Sir Malachi said. And I realized that it was. All of my brothers looked so much older, and they were all happy. They were standing on the rooftops. I realized that this was the spot that I first saw April. So this was the first night that we were allowed on the surface. I peered over the edge, hoping to see April here.

"Alright, guys," Leo said strongly. "It's getting late. We should probably head back home."

My two other brothers groaned and that was when I saw April, at the same moment I had seen her in the past. Oh, she's so beautiful. A smile crept onto my face as I watched her walk with her dad.

When the van skidded to a stop, I cried. "No! April, run!" I screamed. But she couldn't hear me. I drew the Bo-staff I had gotten back and ran after my brothers, spinning it in my hands. I swung at the back of their heads, but they didn't know. "No!"

"There's nothing you can do," Sir Malachi told me calmly. I growled and ran at him. He disappeared into thin air as my Bo-staff struck the ground where he had stood.

"Why won't they do something?" I cried.

Then I heard April scream. I froze up. No, April. This my brothers heard, though.

"Someone's in trouble," Mikey said to Leo.

"Splinter told us to stay away from strangers. And bathrooms," Leo told them.

"You said you wanted to be a hero. Since when do heroes ask for permission?" Raph demanded.

"They don't but—" Leo started, but Raph cut him off by disappearing. Mikey followed Raph. Leo sighed and jumped off the building, as well.

The fight ended the same way, but they didn't follow the van. Instead, they went home and told Splinter the story. I followed them. But, no one stood up for April the way I had.

"If you hadn't said something and stood up for April and her father, your brothers would've been kept in the sewers for another year. But they wouldn't have lived another year. Because once the Kraang got their power cell from Leatherhead, they would've used April to take over the world and the world would've been destroyed of any traces of any life form living there before them," Sir Malachi told me while I watched Splinter give my brothers a lecture.

"So, if I hadn't even noticed April in the first place?" I asked.

"The Kraang would've taken the world over, starting with New York. And if you had never existed, it would've been the reason your brothers died," Sir Malachi finished.

"Also, if you had never built the T-phones, you and your brothers would have never had a way to communicate, so you wouldn't have ever found Dr. Rockwell. Also, the Shellraiser, it has helped your brothers travel further. The ninja smoke bombs, they've saved you so many times, one of those times from the Shredder, it saved Leonardo and Michelangelo from Dogpound twice, and you and Raphael, as well. Raphael has used them several times to protect himself in the past, too. They've also saved April from Fong. The all-terrain patrol buggy, you wouldn't have been able to save April from the Purple Dragons and stop Dogpound from destroying the sewers with the chlorosulfonic acid. The Stealth Cycle, it's saved and helped Raphael so much in the past, it has saved Karai when Leonardo used it and it helped you save your brothers when you also saved Timothy from blowing up in that building. And the power gun that Leonardo used when you entered the Technodrome, it saved him from being killed from Traag," Sir Malachi added, making me think about it. Oh, my God.

"Come on, Donatello. One last stop," he told me. I nodded once, watching my brothers get up and leave. The scene shimmered in front of me and it changed.

We were in the Kraang facility. My brothers were being stealthy. I just walked out in the open, knowing no one would see me. "Why are we here?" I asked Sir Malachi.

"We're here because if you had never existed, they would've never known about the mutagen bomb planted on top of the Wolf Hotel. It would've mutated the entire city," he explained. "And even if they had figured it out, no one would've been able to disarm it in time. And without your help that night, your brothers would've been taken out by Shredder or Chris and Xever. Because you helped in both those battles. When you finished disarming the bomb, you went along and helped all of your brothers. And you helped them escape the Shredder. And in every single fight you've been in, you've helped your brothers, either by distracting the enemy by fighting them so your brothers could take them out, or you taking them out. And when you've fought the Foot Clan, you and Michelangelo work together. If you didn't, while Raphael and Leonardo were busy taking on opponents of their own, your little brother would quickly be overwhelmed and taken out. Also, if you had never befriended Timothy and let him help you, you would've never known about Shredder's plan to mutate people to form as their own. And if you had never met April and saved her, Splinter never would've known where his daughter was. Do you now realize how much you mean to people?"

"How come people never show it, then? All my brothers ever do is give me criticism for every little thing I do wrong and they never say anything about the good things I do," I asked him.

"Because no one realizes how much you matter. No one wants to ever really think about someone else's place in the world because it's rarely their concern," he told me. "Your brothers choose not to notice because they don't want to admit that you mean a lot to people because they fear that you matter in the world more than they do. Your brothers don't want to admit that to themselves. And Splinter realizes that you really mean something to people more than your brothers. So, all of those times worrying about Splinter being disappointed in you were worthless because you've never been a disappointment to anyone. Splinter is very glad you're around and he has always been proud of you. Also, April will forever be grateful to the fact that you've saved her so many times. She may not like you the way you've hoped for, but she's very happy that you're around. But do not point these things out to your brothers or anyone else, because it would just make them get mad at you for sounding so smug."

I nodded. "T-Thank you so much for this," I breathed.

"You're welcome," Sir Malachi said and disappeared, and so did the scenery. I looked around and found that I was in my bed. I looked briefly at the time. Two in the morning. Okay, good. I have enough time. I ran out of my room and almost into Splinter. He was as shocked to see me as I was to see him.

"What are you doing up, Donatello?" Splinter asked me.

"I have to go make April's present," I told him honestly. He looked at me.

"I thought you already did," he said.

"It didn't work right, so I have to go make something else," I explained.

"Are you feeling any better?" Splinter asked.

"Yeah," I chuckled. "I was thinking and it made me realize that it's not so bad to be disliked by my brothers sometimes when I screw things up."

He looked at me oddly before letting me go. I darted into my lab and dug around for several headsets I had made a while back that were still pretty much brand new. Ah-ha! I put one set on and turned it on. I grabbed another one and hooked it up, as well. I knew these worked, and they were perfect for the same reason my other one had been. And this would work great. This way, if April needed help and I was busy, I could talk to her while doing whatever I was doing because I didn't need to use my hands to hold my T-phone. I smiled when it worked the way I wanted it to.

By ten, the time we were supposed to leave, my presents were all ready to go. We loaded everything into the back of the Shellraiser. While Leo drove to April's apartment through the snow, Raph and Mikey decided to bug me.

"Why are you so happy, brainiac? You don't have a present to give to April," Raph insisted.

"Oh, I have a present for her. And nothing's wrong with it this time," I said. "I've tested it for weeks now and it works perfectly. And also, I'm giving her something that's going to mean a lot to her. Splinter said I could give it to her because he felt it was time."

"What is it?" Mikey begged.

"Nope. You'll just tell April. I'm not telling anyone. You'll find out when she opens it," I told them smugly.

"But why are you so happy?" Raph demanded.

"Because I came to realize that it's okay to be hated by people sometimes," I sighed. They looked at me. "Because in the end, it's all worth it."

Confused, they left me alone and I was grateful. When we got to April's apartment, it was ten thirty. Perfect timing. We ran out of the Shellraiser with our presents and we slipped inside the door, April waiting for us. "It's so good to see all of you guys," April said and hugged us each. I saw Casey come down the stairs with a cup of hot chocolate tight in his hands. He was in his socks and a Christmas sweater. I smiled at him and, a little shocked, he smiled back.

We headed upstairs and got settled. We would be eating dinner later after presents and games.

We were all going to be opening our presents in order, like Leo would open all of his presents, then Raph, and so forth. April and I were going to be the last ones for whatever reason. Mikey was going first because he was so impatient.

Mikey opened my present to him last. He ripped the orange wrapping paper off eagerly and he grinned as he pulled out the video game he's been wanting to get for the past year. "Donnie, thank you so much!" Mikey laughed. He bounced over and hugged me tightly. Smiling, I hugged him back, glad he was no longer mad at me.

We all went around, opening presents. It was the most fun I've had in a while. April was second to last, me choosing to go last. April opened all of her presents and when she got to the only one that was wrapped with yellow wrapping paper—I color-coded all of my presents to people—she paused, knowing it was me. Mikey and Raph had shared the story from last night, and she was a little wary. I knew that. But, I insisted that she opened it. While she was looking down, I slipped my headset on under my mask and everyone either watched me or April.

She first pulled out the little headset. "What is this for, Donnie? I have plenty of these," she said, a little confused.

"It's special. It's connected to a big set I have. This way, we can talk without having to use our hands to talk. And it's much more efficient than the T-phones because we can do things with our hands while talking at the same time. You get the first set that isn't mine," I explained. "Go ahead. Turn it on."

She pressed the on button on the headset and put it on. I smiled at her. "Hey, April," I said. She laughed.

"It works," she told me.

"Yep, so now if you need help with homework or just want to talk, you can call me no matter what I'm doing," I explained. "Keep looking in the box. There's more."

She looked at me before looking back in the box. The next thing she pulled out of the box was a yellow mask and her fan, which I had fixed. "Donnie," she breathed.

"You want to be a kunoichi. I figured you'd want to dress like one, too," I murmured. "There's one last thing in there for you."

"She got the most from Donnie," Mikey pouted and I rolled my eyes. Her eyes widened as she pulled out the traditional kunoichi uniform, but it was yellow instead of black because I knew that April liked the color yellow. My brothers all looked at me.

"It's beautiful," she said before she got up and hugged me tightly. I froze up for a second before hugging her back, closing my eyes. "Thank you so much."

"Splinter expects you to wear it when you train," I told her and she pulled back, laughing.

"Okay," she laughed, nodding. She hugged me again. "This is awesome. Thank you, Donnie. This is the best present I've gotten in the past four years." I smiled up at her.

"Donnie's turn to open presents," Mikey cheered. "You're gonna love my gift, Don. I swear."

"No, he's going to like my present more," Leo defended.

"Nu-uh. He's gonna like my present more than he likes you guys," Raph snapped. I rolled my eyes.

I was handed presents that were all wrapped in purple. Casey was the one who confessed to me that he didn't have a present for me because he had no idea what I could want. And that was okay. I didn't mind. I decided to open Mikey's present to me first and Mikey laughed. "See? He likes mine better because I wrapped it with shiny wrapping paper," Mikey said smugly.

"He doesn't even know what it is," Raph growled. I tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box. I smirked as I pulled out the broken T-phone.

"Thanks, Mikey. It gives me something to do later," I chuckled. Mikey smiled. I opened everyone's gift, and found that Leo got me a book, Raph gave up his broken T-phone along with the video game console he broke, Splinter got me some more notebooks to write in, and April got me a ticket to go a history exhibit that was only going to be in New York for the next two weeks. It got here yesterday before the storm started. I had to admit, it was hard to decide which present was the best, but I wasn't going to choose, because I loved them all. And I knew that they appreciated me. It was obvious now. Mikey and Raph look up to me to fix things for them and I'm glad they do. Leo knows I like to read and Splinter knows I like to learn and take notes. And April knows I absolutely love going to the museum. Sure, Casey doesn't know me that well, but hopefully that changes soon. Because I'm looking forward to the next years of my life because I realize now that everyone loves me, even if they don't admit it all the time. And I'm glad for that.


End file.
